


Earthstuck

by CB_Magique



Series: Troll Pets [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Petstuck, alternate troll history
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2013-04-27
Packaged: 2017-12-09 18:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CB_Magique/pseuds/CB_Magique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Millions of years ago, a battalion of trolls crash landed on Earth. They never made it back. </p>
<p>Millions of years afterwards, Earth is their new home and humans are their keepers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Earthstuck

Feferi Peixes was a troll who existed millions of years ago and who happened to end up stranded with her battalion on an uninhabited planet. That’s not to say that it was completely empty. The troll military definition of ‘uninhabited’ was ‘the absence of any organism intelligent enough to communicate’, of which this planet had none. All that existed were giant reptiles too stupid to even be tamed and tiny mammals too small to be of any use other than snack food. They were trapped on a large island, far enough from the mainland that only the high mountains could be seen in the distance with a sight enhancing device. They were out of radio range and most of their telecommunications equipment was damaged, either from the high-speed crash or the impact with the speeding meteor. Even the empaths couldn’t reach other trolls in the galaxy. They had been on a reconnaissance mission to scout for any planets ripe for the conquering in The Condesce’s name. This one would fit the bill if they weren’t stuck on it.

   The battalion general – a violet-blood with three scars across his face from a battle against an army of pawbeast-like people – was livid. He culled the three-man team in charge of piloting their huge battleship, then he culled the head engineers from the engine rooms. He culled his second in command and his third in command and anyone who even so much as moved during the first day of the shipwreck. He culled anyone who had been wounded but not killed in the crash and peppered those who were already dead with bullets to blow off some steam.

   Feferi took refuge on a rocky outcrop on the island’s mountain while the general took his anger out on the battalion. From there she kept trying to call the rest of the fleet with a small radio that she crafted out of junk from the shipwreck. It was predictably useless. The huge satellites and transmitters couldn’t send a message, so there was no hope for Feferi to succeed with her tiny transmitter but maybe blind faith that something will get through would be enough to make the situation a little bit less hopeless.

   After one day Feferi came back down from the mountain. The battalion had been reduced by half. The general was nowhere to be found. Some of the shaken troops were still brave enough to inform her that he’d gone walking down the beach. That meant it would be calm at the crash site, at least for a while.

   Feferi surveyed the beach. There was a huge, cratered scar across the sand and stone showing where their spaceship had torn up the beach from out of the ocean, levelled a portion of the jungle and smashed into a cliff, demolishing it on top of their ship. The long crater disappeared into the sea where a number of white sea-dwelling creatures were diving and surfacing languidly. More Lusii were walking up and down the beach and in and out of the forest. They accompanied their wards, if their wards were still alive.

   Feferi had no Lusus to speak of, at least not anymore. At one time, she had the greatest Lusus that a troll could ever have. The only downfall was that she had to compete for this Lusus’ attention with Her Imperial Condescension. If The Condesce hadn’t been so focused on conquering the universe, Feferi would have had never had such competition because she wouldn’t be alive. Her life had been a well-kept secret for a good seven sweeps but The Condesce eventually heard word of the heiress and set out to assassinate her. At that point Feferi abandoned her Lusus. The old beast understood, she was sure. Gl’bgolyb was psychic, after all. She masqueraded as a brightly-hued violet-blood whose Lusus had fallen prey to reckless FLARP players (a very common occurrence regardless of locality or blood colour) and joined the ranks of adult trolls in the royal fleet, waiting for the opportunity to put a fork in The Condesce’s neck. But that dream was lost now.

   She sat down on the sandy beach, watching the trolls and Lusii mill about with nothing to do. Ruling them was what she had always wanted to do, ever since she was a child. She had big plans for when she took over the throne. She was going to change everything. She wanted to send all of the trolls to their homes and take care of them all like she’s sure The Condesce was supposed to. She was going to be The Condesce that everyone loved.

   As the planet’s single moon began to sink an idea struck her. They had no contact with the troll empire whatsoever. So far they had found everything they needed to survive on this planet: food, water, swampy gulches to plant sopor trees, enough Lusii to breed sustainably and damp, dark caves to breed their wrigglers in so long as what was left of the medical team was savvy enough to figure out how to hatch wrigglers without a Mother Grub. She had a little troll society right here that she could rule for the rest of her life, without having to worry about The Condesce. However, there was one problem with that plan and he was somewhere down the beach.

   Before the morning came, Feferi made up her mind. She went back to the damaged ship to retrieve a trident from an armoury that wasn’t crushed and took a walk down the beach. By the next night, her reign as the new Imperial Condescension of a new troll society would begin. For the next three thousand years, she would be the most powerful troll on Earth.

 

* * *

 

 

Feferi Peixes is also a troll who exists today. She’s a fuchsia-blood, which makes her extremely rare, extremely valuable and extremely high-class. A lot of things have changed since a troll by the name of Feferi Peixes last walked the Earth. Troll society didn’t last long without the ability for terraforming or the opportunity to retreat to isolated environments specifically suited to the species. The trolls began to adapt to life on a new planet, they evolved (or perhaps devolved, some would say). They’re smart but not as smart as they used to be. Big but not as big as they used to be. Efforts to reengineer their reproductive biology paid off and ever since they have been surviving on this new planet, considered by the new dominant population to be living fossils and very attractive ones at that.

   Feferi is backstage being primped and prepared for a pet expo. Her owner is especially meticulous because she isn’t just on display, today she’s on show. Yesterday she was taken to a pet salon to have a troll pedicure and manicure. Her yellow claws are rounded into soft crescent moons and painted in bold fuchsia to match her blood colour. She’s dressed in a tight gown in that same pink-purple hue with green-aqua trimmings to complement it. She sits in front of a mirror as her owner does her hair, pulling it tight and braiding strings of pearls into it. Her face is already painted and powdered. Every bit of decoration is meant to show off how rare and highly prized she is.

   Eventually her owner rolls the chair away from the mirror and tells Feferi to stand up. She does and then she follows her owner to a backstage area. Her owner goes up to one of the crew managing the stage while Feferi just checks her own reflection in a pair of glasses that someone left on a table. She has no responsibility and hasn’t since she was hatched but sometimes she wishes she did. She wishes she was strong and powerful. She would sometimes fantasise that the humans who groomed and fed her did so because they were servants, happy to serve their most kind and beautiful empress.

   Her owner snatched the glasses out of her hands and put them back on the table, scolding the troll forcefully. Feferi merely frowned indignantly and rolled her eyes. “Play with your petty toys then,” she sassed, “I’ll just be over here crying my mascara off.”

   “Don’t you dare! It’s your turn now, get on stage.” She was pushed out onto the stage in front of a red curtain. Her owner sighed and muttered “Fuchsia-blood” to the stage crew before following his pet onto the stage.

   There was a high stool in the middle and a lectern to the side. Feferi perched on the stool like a queen on her throne. Her owner took his place at the lectern and started to make an enthusiastic speech about her breed to the visiting public. She just has to look pretty while he rambles on about biology, breeding, psychology and aesthetics – things she doesn’t know about and doesn’t have to care about. The only reason he owned her in the first place was so that he could care about those things and parade her in front of other people to show them how much money and taste he had. She wishes she knew what he was talking about but he’ll never explain it to her. It’s a conversation he has with other humans while he condescendingly tells her that she simply won’t understand it. How ironic. She knows instinctually that she is the highest of the high but among humans she feels like the lowest of the low.

   She sits up straight on her stool and looks out over the crowd of people who have gathered to look at her and listen to her owner talk nonsense. They are all seated, enraptured by her mere presence due to her rarity. Up here she feels higher than them. For a moment she can pretend she is their queen. Millions of years of evolution didn’t strip her of the feeling that she belongs at the top.

   But this isn’t the past and she isn’t a military troll. She isn’t as smart as the old Feferi used to be. She isn’t as strong as the old Feferi used to be. She isn’t even as rare as the old Feferi was. The Troll Empire doesn’t exist anymore and it’s highly doubtful that it ever will again. Things have changed too much and they can’t change back.

   However, when she goes home her owner’s abode is basically a palace. She has a room to herself with velvet cushions, a swimming pool and all the seafood she could ever want. Her owner grooms her lovingly and hires servants to keep her room and clothes clean. The only pity is that she can’t order them around or have free run of the house nor does she have the freedom to leave as she pleases or do what she wants. At least there are other pets and among them she stands tall. She’s not a princess but nobody can really say that she’s fallen _too_ far. 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy with the first half, not happy with the ending of the second half :/  
> But I'm not going to bother about changing it because I want to concentrate on Gamzee's petstuck debut and the sequel to the Lalonde story.


End file.
